The Language of Abuse and The Language of Survival

Language is a tool of power and a powerful tool. Mental Health organizations have become experts at using language to shame and blame survivors of their abuse; their goals are to silence us, and to use our struggles as a means to shame us. In turn, we need to develop our own language and understanding of what is abusive so we can develop the tools to stand up to their power grab, and abusive acts. It is my intention that this article will help us build and use language to empower survivors of mental health abuse. As such, it might easily become an evolving document as we continue the conversations needed to strengthen ourselves. In doing this we borrow language from social justice movements across the spectrum; from women’s empowerment, language designed to question sexual abuse, domestic abuse – as well as ableism, racism and the full spectrum of social justice frameworks.

Let’s take a look at what they say – and our answers:

They say: “Your trauma is making you see this wrong.” We say: “Current harm is real regardless of past trauma. Both can be true.”

They say: “This is only trauma speaking.” We say: “It is inappropriate to attempt to discuss past trauma when you traumatize us in the present.”

They say: “This is xyz diagnosis” or “this is substance misuse” — some version of “this is your fault, you are unable to speak for yourself accurately.” We say: “You have a duty of care to us. If we struggle, that means you need to work harder to help us. Your mistakes or violations of laws and ethics cannot be blamed on our struggles.”

They say: “You’re treatment resistant.” We say: “We are not resistant. Your treatment failed us. The failure is all you.”

They say: “You have poor insight.” We say: “We see exactly what happened. That’s why you’re uncomfortable.”

They say: “For your own safety.” We say: “Safety was used as a reason to harm us.”

They say: “You couldn’t take no for an answer.” We say: “We kept asking because we deserved a real answer.”

They say: “Given your history…” We say:” Our history doesn’t make what you did acceptable. Your replay of our past trauma is on you, and requires a response in the present.”

They say: “This is a clinical judgment.” We say: “Clinical authority is not a shield from accountability. If you harmed us then your clinical judgment isn’t worth the price of toilet paper.”

They say: “We followed proper protocol.” We say: “Protocol that causes harm is not proper.”

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This article is living and evolving. The goal is to give us the tools to stand up to the shame and blame the mental health industry attempts to put on us when they fail in their duty of care.